"See Mr President, if you say things are going well and they don't go well then your political enemies will say you're out of touch"

Mr President: "But how will the people know that I'm optimistic about the fundamental good of the people and their hard working ethic and the incredible productivity that will ultimately fix this temporary problem?"

"Well Mr President, the people will know when they have more money in their pockets"

Mr President: "But they won't have more money in their pockets for a while - right?"

"OK Mr President, you're not getting this. Let me explain it another way. When the economy is going down you should always talk it down just like the Treasury Secretary does because then we can increase taxes and give the people what they want. Then they will know that the economy is better because it's worse"

Mr President: "Somebody find me a war! Or a gun! Something!"